Crescendo fulfillment – The Avengers trailer

Finally a solid look at what we will inevitably be the highest grossing film of 2012. It needs no introduction, it’s the full Avengers trailer, just watch.

I was slightly taken a back as the opening of the trailer looked so very Michael Bay. Exploding cars, modern military personnel, closed in streets etc. but then we hear the opening riffs of We’re In This Together Now and it all starts getting better, admittedly I was less impressed than I wanted to be by this trailer but coming from someone who almost didn’t want to watch Captain America based on it’s trailer, well suffice to say I am incredibly excited.

Oh and Hawkeye? quick release, tactical composite bow? you’re just teasing me now.

-Expatriategamer

 

One reason the new Conan won’t be as good as it could have

Jody Samson. Not a name you are likely to be familiar with unless you are a huge sword/movie/fantasy nerd, he was responsible for many things in his time, one was designing and creating an armory of incredible fantasy swords with an attention to detail and a unique hand built quality that would have been worthy of any ancient sword and sorcery craftsman. Another was creating the Iconic swords from John Milius’ Conan The Barbarian in 1982. Seen below; these swords made such an impact on audiences that they are still being reproduced and sold today. They were an incredible amalgamation of weapon and artwork that along with Basil Poledouris’ amazing score are part of why 1982’s Conan is so beloved.

Some of Jody Samsons best and most well known work

Fast forward 29 years and a rebooted Conan The Barbarian has just been released. despite not having seen it yet I wanted to provide insight on what is to me one of the most glaring oversights in the new films production, The Sword. New Conan claims to be based more directly on the works of Robert E. Howard which could be a blessing if handled with the gravitas and reverence that his source material deserves. (But I will reserve that post for after I get back from the movie later today) Swordsmanship in western film is sadly lacking in authenticity, outside a handful of men working in this specific field on movies like the LOTR trilogy, The Princess Bride, Rob Roy, The Duellists and most recently Game of Thrones, most swords shown in film are reproductions of historical pieces and for a good reason, Even for skilled draftsmen unless they have some idea of the design fundamentals most attempts to create a sword for the screen end up like this:

Some of the worst offenders of ignorant sword design. From left to right: Kull the Conqueror (not sooo bad) 300 (great movie, awful swords) King Arthur (one of the worst movies for martial anachronisms) and Eragon (shudder)

While not as obviously awful from a functional standpoint as those above, here are a few productions stills illustrating what I am so concerned about:

What the hell!?

So what!? I hear you say? well yes, it’s fullered, has a decent pommel and a “simple” crossguard, but the proportions! it’s the proportions of those features that blow this little prop into an oblivion of inaccuracy, Why is it hilted as a two handed weapon? why is the crossguard so tall and wide? and why is the blade so short!?

I can only assume there was never a full steel practical model of this built, let alone used by anyone with a deeper understanding of sword technique, as just looking at it I see badly hurt wrists and a weapon with all it’s weight distributed about the guards center. Now I can forgive ignorance, but I do believe just a little bit more research could have saved overly analytical geeks like me from posts like this. Considering the prevailing impression I always get from REH’s Conan is one of simplicity and ruggedness; this badly inflated longsword just seems wildly out of place. I will go on the record as saying I don’t like the decorative accoutrements or the choice in materials either, it looks hammered rather than polished/ground and the gold embellishments just aren’t working for me. Now with all that in mind, sticking as close to the original design features as I could stomach I wanted to provide the internet with some alternatives to show what could have been, first a rendition of the new sword for comparison:

Blegh, Thank God my render was overly generous, it looks better here than it does in the stills

And my examples of hardware that wouldn’t have caused anywhere near as much trouble:

Ahhhhhh, much better

See? easy. From left to right: Two Handed, Single handed and a Hand & a half. Now while probably not perfectly realistic or practical, these variations are a damn sight closer to what I wanted to see Conan wielding in the film. I stuck with the same overall features as I wanted to show that even under strict design requirements there was still room for improvement, again I understand not every good concept artist has a second clue about sword design but if you are running short on ideas, give me a call next time yeah?

-Expatriategamer

The ideas flow past 1:00am

I have recently come across an abundance of free time, I am officially making the transition to something I hear is colloquially known as a “Stay at home Dad” my Wife is of course tantamount in the intialisation of my new place in our world, as were it not for her I would be spending my days working where I had to to earn a living, So, Intimidatingly I am now, save for a few simple day to day duties regarding our home and my step-daughter, left to my own devices. Certainly a portion of this time will be spent enthralled by electronic entertainment of one sort or another, but otherwise I am now no longer able to blame my lack of creative production on external obligations, which is, frankly everything I could have hoped for (if not ever so slightly terrifying).

This little alcove of webspace isn’t much, it is no bastion of free thinking and ideas that will save the world and pave the way to the future, It is however mine, and that is reason enough to make it the best it can be.

So time to sink or swim as it were, which brings me to the titular conundrum. Often days I am a barren desert of ideas until mere minutes before I ready for bed, consequently it is 1:58am as I type this and I was struck with the clarity for this post about 20 minutes ago. Time and time again my nights end this way, with a flooding rush of inspiration in one form or another, usually only expressed in quick sketches or story notes which just isn’t enough, so it is with this >1:00am letter to the internet that I state my intention to act on as many damn creative impulses as I can. and I figure if I am going to be producing something worth looking at on a regular basis, I may as well use this as a platform to deliver it to anyone who thinks to look (I’m talking to you Google Images) with that in mind I intend to make this wee space as visually interesting and exciting as I can. My initial goal is something like this:A two column deal with some widgets on the left there, the leftmost column being where the posts would show up and the right containing posted images, tags, categories etc. The main aspect I am interested in right now though is the banner/page background, hopefully what you can see at the top  is a view of a long indoor bar neatly containing the name of this here weblog (only so much can be done in paint with a laptop trackpad) with a number of people sitting at it, a few bartenders and some more patrons milling in the background. As a comic fan there is a special place in my heart for crossovers, which is why those paintings of 50’s icons (Elvis, James Dean, Humphrey Bogart, Marilyn Monroe, etc) coming together at diners late at night have always appealed to me, so my thought here is a Bar scene  completely populated by my pop culture icons, characters like Spike Spiegel, Cloud, Nathan Drake, Clare Redfield, Vincent Vega, Solid Snake etc. All hanging out in a bar together just like it’s another night out. I am hoping to be able to integrate a banner with the background seamlessly and have the image fade out as you scroll down the page, I will need to look into different themes or more likely some custom CSS so if this isn’t the first time you’ve been here, keep your wits about you because things are going to be a changin’.

Takeshi Kitano in his role ans Aniki from Brother is another character I want to squeeze in there, you can never get enough Beat.

Tekken: Blood Vengeance, not worth a review

Tekken Blood Vengeance is the latest film adaptation of the Tekken fighting game series. created by a combination of the team that worked on the last two games and distributed by Namco Bandai Blood Vengeance looked like it could have righted the wrongs of the video game films that came before it.

Having just returned from the US opening a “special” one night event I am here to tell you, they missed the mark.

Tekken blood vengeance will be one of those movies that Gamers buy upon it’s Blu Ray release for the inclusion of the Teken Tag Tournament bonuses but the actual film gets relegated to drinking nights as a hilarious background distraction. I don’t feel as though I am overstepping the mark when I say that the English dub of Blood Vengeance is the single worst dialogue massacre I have had the privilege to witness. Gems that set the entire audience into uncontrollable laughter include:

“I was on the bench and he ended up right on top of me!. . . . It happened so fast!”

And a line coming from Shin Kamiya upon being united with Heihachi, Kazuya and Jin, that is perhaps destined to enter the unintentionally gay hall of fame:

“You want my body. . I will unleash the demon inside of you. . . . . . . . . .   I’ll take you both on, but I know I won’t last long.”

There were more too, things that the original Japanese language track couldn’t have saved, the complete lack of quality fight sequences being the worst offender, there were only really two hand to hand combat sequences in the whole film, the first being the opening sequence between Nina and Anna which ultimately led nowhere and the second being a 3 way free for all fought by Jin, Kazuya and Heihachi which between the frenetic pace, the unnecessary over-editing and the poorly implemented 3D was so visually confusing that it became joyless. The other action sequences were dominated by the jet boosted android antics of Alyssa and a bafflingly out of place “Epic” showdown between Jin and Kazuya in their devil forms. All punctuated by what I could only assume to be a wildly misplaced Godzilla homage.

No this isn’t the Tekken movie fans were hoping for, this was an exercise in the worst kind of Shojo Manga high-school melodrama with the tiniest of glimpses at what could have been an enjoyable actioner. Unbelievably coming from the people that built the game on which it’s based Tekken Blood Vengeance missed the point in grand fashion. Thankfully you need not worry about avoiding it as it won’t be released again until November but if you wanted to know whether or not to look forward to it? you have your answer.

If you want to watch a film that actually succeeds at being a Martial Arts movie in this day and age, check out Undisputed III

-Expatriategamer

The First Avenger

Thanks to the latest midnight opening at my local theatre I have just returned from Marvel studios’ Captain America: The first avenger. And I consider it, despite it’s few faults; to be the best of Marvels in-house adaptations so far, the key in my eyes is reverence and authenticity, here we have a tale of Caps origins that waxes on the human stories behind the mask a little more than the other Avengers lead ups would prepare you for, and because the creative team decided to ground the films fantastical nature in the reality in which it’s based you shouldn’t have any problem suspending your disbelief.

Captain America spends nearly the entire narrative in the years during WWII (the right decision) following the journey of Steve Rogers from scrawny enlisted man-wannabe through proving himself and the super soldier procedure to his nation and allies up to being the American hero most of us are familiar with, there is a present day intro and foot note that ties this film neatly into the Avengers universerse that made me even more ready for the assembly in 2012.

To expand on my praise for the aforementioned authenticity and reverence it is best displayed in the treatment of Caps costume, while the final choice for the majority of the film is not perfect, once it is donned for the first time you have had so much lead up and nods to previous visual incarnations of the Captain that it seems like a fair trade, at no time was my immersion broken by anachronistic sillyness that didn’t work in context. Which for a film containing giant Nazi Laser Tanks. . . . is a worthy feat on its own.

The action works, the supporting characters are charming and enjoyable to watch, Hugo Weaving is a wonderful villain as always. His performance here is no stretch for his skill but delivery and presence is right on the money,  the overarching plot although brief and relatively simple works great amongst the other films, especially Thor, Chris Evans looks phenomenal out of costume bringing a ridiculous physique that lends the athletic and combative feats of Cap a little more visual weight which never hurts.

There are some lesser qualities, The final design of the main suit being chief among them, it works better in the film then it does in the screen caps and production photos but I would’ve preferred to see some scale mail. The degree of US patriotic symbolism and themes should be expected going into the film and fit perfectly for the character and perspective but may be jarring for some international viewers not accustomed to it.

All in all an excellent installment in the Avengers continuity, a great action blockbuster for most of the family with a decent bit of heart thrown in for good measure, Marvel continues to show us how to make a comic adaptation. Make sure you stick around for the post-credits goodness that we are now used to, with the added bonus of a full length Avengers trailer that brought plenty of cheering and applause from an obviously pleased crowd.

Go see it. you won’t regret it.

-Expatriategamer

Deus ex furtim

It appears that a sneaky Italian citizen has gotten their hot little hands on the “press demo” of this years highly anticipated Deus Ex sequel, Human Revolution. For once from the sound of the breach detailed at Patent Arcade we aren’t talking a shadowy organisation of highly skilled militant hackers, oh no, simply an employee of an Italian game magazine probably saw a company email and snapped up the details of the release, they might have even downloaded it from their home pc.

Square Enix provided the unpublished press demo, which usually includes multiple hours of gameplay intending to preview the content of the full game to 3rd parties commonly as basis for a pre-release review. So we aren’t talking a chopped down tantalising tid bit to earn your interest and money but an unpublished version that is the closest thing to the full game that anyone will see before August 23rd. I can only hope that when this reaches the torrent circuit (if it hasn’t already) that it will be tracked as diligently by US ISPs as the released episodes of Game of Thrones.

I adore the work that has gone into Human Revolution, and can only imagine the frustration this sort of thing engenders in the dev team, not the publishers, for them it’s simply potential losses (can’t imagine this will have that big of a dent) it’s the artists, animators and game designers that my heart bleeds for.

If you really want to support the studio on this one, don’t bother with the “Augmented” edition available here in the states, you want the real collectors edition, available only in “select European countries” I could only find the PC CE from Amazon.de and eBay, but they can be found for the consoles more readily if that’s what floats your boat:

Now that is more like it, I recently purchased the Play Arts Kai Big Boss from the Peace Walker line up and it rocks, so this was a no brainer for me. the rest of the content looks good as well, I am a sucker for the design from Human Revolution so far which gives that art book a little extra value to boot.

Ironic that a game whose cyberpunk setting gives us the opportunity to play as a spec ops hacker ends up being illegally obtained and distributed in such a garden variety way. A highly trained rogue ex-GIS agent infiltrating the magazine offices and securing the files would have been much more appropriate.

-Expatriategamer

Black Ops on the green > Annihilation DLC

The next (possibly last?)  Call of Duty Black Ops DLC was officially announced this morning, after an earlier leak. 4 new multiplayer maps and yet another zombies environment for your murderous competitive enjoyment.

The maps coming this month have been discussed at length and detailed else where so allow me to chime in on something less vital to the run of the mill fan than size and choke points but something I think is far more important. Atmosphere.

Seen in the trailer below one of  Treyarch’s goals for this map pack is to be more visually dramatic than their previous outlays and from the released footage and screenshots? they’re succeeding admirably.

here is a visual breakdown of my 3 standouts from that trailer.

Hangar 18:

An homage to Area 51; Hangar 18 is a concrete laden, industrial looking level with the same grey tones we are used to from maps like Grid and Launch but with a couple of flamboyant differences. The main area, the hangar, houses an SR-71 Blackbird as it’s multi tiered centrepiece, SR-71s are good to look at on any day but as the focal point of a level like this it’s a nice touch, they were the height of technology in the 60’s after all. On the more fanciful side of things you can see an interactive Arc-reactor like Sci Fi generator room, likely below the main hangar area, it’s a nice change from the habitually bland offerings usually found in Call of Duty maps.

Hazard:

An apparent homage/reimagining of Cliffside from World at War (after the leap forward taken by Cod4 I just couldn’t get excited about a WWII setting again) Hazard is a Resort/Golf course mash up that is easily the most enticing looking map I have seen from a game developer for a long time, with the tongue in cheek colourful nature we usually find in fan made maps. Hazard is verdent fairways, lush foliage, rolling hills and gaudy signage. Unlike Treyarch I never thought of a Golf course as a killing field but the idea of looking out across the green through the scope of an SVD? sounds like a uniquely amusing experience to me.

Shangri-la:

The next entry in the Black Ops zombies mode, a pretty exciting addition from Treyarch. Shangri-la; Often thought of as a reference to the mythical spiritual city of Tibetan lore known as Shambalah this is a huge departure from what we have seen up to this point. Ancient carved temples, soft inviting skies, lush tropical overgrowth, pristine waters flowing from miniature pools all a backdrop to the defence of your comrades from the blood-letting horde of undead. Juxtaposition like this works great in zombie fiction, the corruption of the pure as it were. There is also a distinctive Indiana Jones feeling from this map, bamboo spike traps and mine cart coaster rides through what looks (at a glance) like an archaeological set up. We don’t just see a departure in the environment art here either, mask wearing ghouls, monkey zombies and robe clad female undead will be coming for your brains in Shangri-la, not to mention a very ominous burning corpse seen above.

New, original ideas from Treyarch this late after the game has been released is a refreshing change, and it may even be worth the $15 it costs you to get in. we’ll find out on June 28th

Via Gamespot>

-Expatriategamer

Age of Conan going free to play

Age of Conan, the Cimmerian MMO that has met with limited success since it’s rocky launch in 2008 is adding a new business model to it current subscription method, the details are sparce at the moment but we are definitely looking at a free to play  option to be coming this summer, likely along side the Conan the Barbarian reboot (that’s a whole other post) details on the upcoming free mode and movie tie in content can be read after the jump.

Having played DAoC, WoW and WAR in the past and currently playing RIFT I have a certain soft spot for Modern MMO’s and being an avid fan of the original Robert E Howard fiction, I jumped at Age of Conan when it was first released. I have come and gone since then, but this new announcement has me excited to tread the jeweled thrones of Aquilonia beneath my sandled feet once more.

Age of Conan free to play!

Conan the Barbarian movie tie in

 

-Expatriategamer

A man from another time, Duke Nukem Forever

First things first, there was no way this was ever going to live up to the hype, we all knew that and I like to hope most had tempered their expectations accordingly, some things however cannot be attributed to unrealistic expectations.

Duke Nukem Forever (abbr. DNF, often used to shorten Did Not Finish, no irony lost on me there.) could have and damn well should have been a fun and funny, self deprecating, nostalgic romp to gaming’s storied past, as vapid but enjoyable as The Expendables. Had DNF been developed in the last couple of years, that may well have been the case. However having now played portions of the game on both 360 and PC, I assure you it’s just the opposite.

Like an old man at the most popular club in town trying to pick up young girls with the same come-ons he was using in 1981, DNF is out of it’s league. There are many things wrong here but the most glaring is it’s opinion of itself. Unbelievably DNF actually takes itself too seriously. trying to walk the line between evoking the adolescent giggles of it’s past while still being offensive, all you end up with is interactive urination and triple, lactating alien breasts. . . yeah. . .

There really isn’t much more to say, Duke’s once memorable one liners have been reduced to a gimmick that is more embarrassing than it is funny, but awful as the setting and attitude may be, if the underlying game was good enough it would have likely served to lift those aspects out of the mire. As it is however, beyond a very fleeting glimpse of enjoyable action, the core game mechanics just don’t cut it, the shooting feels canned and awkward, your opponents wooden and threatless, the pacing. . . . non-existent, it’s as though the list of “Things the Fans wanted out of a Duke Nukem Sequel” somehow  got mixed up with “10 things not to put in your Action Game” everything from imposing “realistic” weapons restrictions (you can only carry two at a time) to a needlessly punishing underwater level.

I understand the impetus for finishing DNF but the whole project just screams: “Too many hands in the pot!” Gearbox Software and 3D Realms would have saved a lot of face had they let DNF die with dignity.

Duke Nukem is a man from another time and Duke Nukem Forever does nothing to soften his transition from 1996 to 2011

-Expatriategamer

Green dream

I have the arguably dubious pleasure of owning a 2002 Chevrolet Cavalier sedan. I say arguably because despite it being a light,  relatively nimble, reasonably good looking, economic little car; it just doesn’t stir the soul. It doesn’t inspire interest or turn heads, and I can’t shake the feeling that anything i could do to improve it would be money better spent on buying a car I love.

As a 24 year old man having had his license for a mere 5 years (Automatic only for the first 3, not really something to put on my petrol head resumé) it’s sufficient to say I am late to the game. Being married, in the process of immigrating to the US, dedicating my time trying to build a business with my Wife and helping to raise my 14 year old step daughter, I simply don’t have the resources to get my hands dirty in the engine bay of my choice. So sure, my Cavalier isn’t the sort of car that I can look forward to seeing every time my garage door opens but that does give me a greater appreciation of the cars on the opposite end of that spectrum; and this glistening harbinger of glory you see before you?

It’s one of them.

If like myself you spend inordinate amounts of time looking at vintage Japanese cars wherever you can find them you likely already know about the lime green Z above, if not, allow me to provide the broad strokes,

All original, running, daily driven 240z, stripped to the bare metal, rotisserie restored to insanely exacting specs, swap in a  bored out, built, custom mapped SR20det from an S15, a one off turbo manifold with a Garrett GT3071R, AN fittings all ’round, a 5 speed Silvia transmission, full on custom suspension from Arizona Z Car (coilovers, camber plates and control arms) ’72 NISMO LSD , Wilwood brakes all round with a set of 17″ CCW classic wheels.

Yet it doesn’t end there, this build is all about the details, details and more custom fab than you can shake all your sticks at. Essentially it’s the ultimate expression of one man’s dream S30. Inside and out it has to be the most complete 240Z in North America.

Now, I’m not only re-posting this here because I love everything about it but also because I just discovered it’s been sold. Someone bought it back in March, for the (relative) bargain of $60,100.00! when first listed for sale she was offered at $125k.  .  . so considering it was on sale for less than 6 months and took 4 years to build, I dare say sixty grand is a steal.

My sincerest hope for this machine is that the new owner, whomever they may be, doesn’t stick this away in their luxury garage to be pondered over a glass of fine scotch. Pretty as it is, this Z was built to be driven. So on the off chance the new owner has looked up their newest baby to bask in the awe it inspired while being built and somehow ended up at this little page, hear this:

Drive it. . . . . . Every chance you get.

-Expatriategamer

Originally saw this before it was finished at the excellent Kyushakai.

Follow it from started to sold via build-threads> 6speedonline> Teamspeed> eBay

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